google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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