I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
