her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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