do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
