quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
