I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
