I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
