If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
