Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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