I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
