My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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