Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just blew my weed a kiss
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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