Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
