Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
