As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
