its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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