he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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