piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
