i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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