your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you will always have a special place in my vag
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
