You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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