We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
