Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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