the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
