When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
did i walk over a car last night?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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