some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
