I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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