I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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