And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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