So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
