I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
