i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
