Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
