If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
