I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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