I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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