guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
