i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
