just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
