Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
