i don't like sucking hair
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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