We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
