you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
