dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
