He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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