I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
