There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
