Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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