She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
