cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
