school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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