He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
