Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
operation have a gay friend backfired
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
