sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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