My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize