is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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