Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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