dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you didnt know i had herpes?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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