I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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