I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
