Your face is a jimmy john
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
